We all have been told the story of the elephant that cannot pull their feet from the imaginary rope and free herself up with no great effort. And of course it sounds foolish of her not to easily do so. But what if we were told that chances are we have performed quite the same way at some point of your lives as we are conditioned since birth to believe that same rope and stake are strong enough to hold her in place.
The same things is true when it comes to how we interpret events around us and thus create limiting beliefs that hold us back from achieving what we always crave for.
The only difference drawn between us - humains - and elephants can boil down to this : instead of remaining fixed in place by perceived limits, we stand quite in the same boat by our limiting beliefs holding us for unlocking our powers and have our coveted success.
Some beliefs are so ingrained we don't even realize we have them
When we have accepted them as norms, they have tremendous power to hold us back.The most horrible limiting beliefs we were told go back to days we have spend at school. Like "he always gets A+, he must a genius!", or "I have never majored in maths, so it's not my thing", or even "he's bad in school so he's a big loser!". And to our surprise, we are inclined to correlate our success in school to how much success we will achieve in real life.
It'a amazing how Zuckerberg was expelled from Harvard university and yet built up a tech giant called Facebook. Same thing applies to Steve Jobs who has never finished college. Jack Ma failed his college entrance exam twice, and was rejected from dozens of jobs, including one at KFC, before finding success with his third internet company, Alibaba. This is not a call for students to quit school, but there is something in these stories that spotlights some fallacy in the way we perceive success.
To identify these hidden limiting beliefs, look at areas where you feel you’re struggling, like being unable to express your emotions, never being satisfied with yourself, or being incapable to talk in front of a public.
Another way is to examine your thoughts and self-talk. These could be situations where you think, "I could never do that". Or sayings you repeat and reaffirm to yourself and live by, "I feel something foretelling today is gonna be a bad day".
Limiting beliefs could be things others say to you regularly
Here's a typical example: she's an accomplished executive but who still struggles to believe in herself. At the root of it is an IQ test at an early age that showed she was solidly in "average" territory. With every accomplishment since then, her parents have said, “you’ve done well for someone with average IQ”. While they meant to compliment her, this regular reminder of her averageness has become a limiting belief.
Acknowledging your limiting beliefs is a key part of neutralizing their impact
Our limiting thoughts and beliefs have been with us for a while and they’re unlikely to just go away on their own. If they were people, they might even think of themselves as friends or companions. In fact, they often come from a place of good intentions – like our prehistoric brain trying to protect us from risk and harm. Or friends and family who are trying to help.
Like a child who keeps saying your name until they get your attention, we need to acknowledge our limiting beliefs so they can go away satisfied that they’ve done their job.
To help you acknowledge your limiting beliefs, think about the role they’ve played in your life. How do they try to “help” you and keep you “safe”? How are they actually holding you back from your full potential? What language will you use the next time you notice your limiting beliefs getting in the way?
What new thought and beliefs should replace the old limiting beliefs?
As the saying goes, nature abhors a vacuum. So having acknowledged your limiting beliefs and sent them on their way, you need to re-fill the space. Preferably with something affirmative, energizing and encouraging. These replacement thoughts and beliefs also need to be more accurate about who youtrulyare and thefull arrayof opportunities ahead of you.
Whether you do it on your own or enlist others to help, make sure you create powerful new beliefs to replace the ones that have been limiting you. Focus on the thoughts and beliefs that will open up possibilities for you rather than hold you back. Collect these ideas, write them down, put the written version somewhere so as to remind yourself on a daily basis.
But what if nothing seems to work?
In this case, there might be a different underlying limiting belief that you haven't yet identified but is the root cause. Until you address that underlying limiting belief, you won't make progress.
Or there's another eventuality. You might not have given it enough time. In which case, cut yourself some slack and stay with your efforts a little longer.
For instance, some believe that they weren't given the gift of speaking foreign languages fluently, even after a long time of practice. Remember that a new-born baby takes from 4 to 5 years to completely take up a language. What's more, these aren't plain years of practice, they are years of full immersion in the language they try to learn. Assuming that children's brains are capable to learn faster than an adult, our so-called "long time" of practice that spans only few hours a day, maybe for a couple of months is nearly worthless compared to the time time babies spend to learn.
Your great opportunities lie just beyond your limiting beliefs
We all have limiting beliefs. The key is to move beyond them so they don’t stop you from fulfilling your potential. You can do that by identifying, acknowledging and replacing your limiting beliefs. And when you look back, the limiting belief you’ve freed yourself from will seem just as small and powerless as the stake and rope that held the full-grown elephant.
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